Sympathy Messages in Vietnamese (+ Funeral Culture in Vietnam)

Lesson Transcript

Hi guys it's Linh. Welcome back to VietnamesePod101.com

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This video is about Culture and I'm gonna introduce to you some common culture of the Vietnamese funeral. Also let’s learn some common informal &formal sympathy messages so that you know what to say or what to type or what to write when it comes to the time and let's see what you got today!

I'm not gonna go into details of the funeral in Vietnam but I'm gonna introduce some common steps so that you know how we organize funerals in Vietnam.

First one we need to find the place to organize the funeral when the person just passed away.

In this case there are a few services around the city.

Some families will choose to organize the funeral at home.

Probably they have enough space or some families or some houses they don’t have enough space or because they have a lot of guests so they would prefer to rent a place, or a professional service to organize the funeral.

Ok, so the first one is to find a place. It can be at home or it can be somewhere else.

The second culture is we change clothes for the person who passed away because we believe that they will have to go through some kind of gate on the way to heaven or something.

So I think it’s very common in many countries because even in some Western countries we still see that dead people wearing new clothes or nice clothes, something like that right?

So the 2nd step is to change the clothes.

The third culture and the most common one is praying, praying and praying.

For example if some families are Christian they are not praying like this at home but they will go to the church maybe.

But for some Buddhist families we pray at home.For example, mine.

So we pray a lot, almost everyday and every time that we have to prepare some food to pray, so basically we pray all day, sometimes night.

This praying to believe that the person will have a good journey, will rest on peace and also their soul will not be around and they will not be missing home, they will not be missing life a lot.

Another culture which is whether to bury or to burn the body

And this is also very common nowadays that we burn the body

This is really hard for me to explain clearly to you, but I'm gonna try, okay?

So at some cities or some provinces they still prefer to bury

However, it is a little bit hard to take care of it

Because sometimes when it rains or when it's storming or something

There will be some old traditions that we have to follow

And it's gonna be very very difficult for young generations later to take care

Instead, nowadays there are more families choosing burning the body as an option

Next one, we have another common culture which is to send the soul of the person to the pagoda, ok?

So this is for Buddhist families only

We will send their soul to the pagoda hoping that they will rest in peace

So some families will contact a big pagoda or a pagoda that they usually come to pray

So that pagoda or like the god at the pagoda will accept the person's soul

Next one, another culture this is also very common for Buddhist families

Which is to pray for seven weeks

Because we believe that within seven weeks which is 49 days

The dead person is still around the house and they're still like missing the family

They're still missing their life

They will still be there so that's why we need to pray and we need to prepare food

Like three meals a day for them

Of course on the altar, okay?

And after seven weeks which is 49 days

We believe that is a good time for them to like leave

And from that time we will not pray anymore

We will still pray like once in a while but we will not pray every day anymore

So pray for seven weeks

Another culture that I'd like to share with you

This is not a very sad culture but this is like a good time for family members to visit each other

Which is the death anniversary

A death anniversary is one of the most important events of every Vietnamese family

So when a person in a family dies

The living people will remember that day

Annually when coming to that day they will prepare a feast to remember the dead person

It is because Vietnamese people believe that when a person dies

Only his physical body dies but his spirit or soul always exists and lives in another world

So generally in a big family the oldest son will take charge of the family's worship

It means that when their father or mother dies

The oldest son will be responsible for making the anniversary feast and worship

Also the other sons or daughters will contribute money and bring fruits, wine and like a bunch of incense sticks to the family

To their anniversary

On this day they just invite some close relatives and friends to attend the feast

So the feast often includes boiled chicken, some stir-fries, some plates of steamed or fried shrimps

Several bowls of soup with bamboo shoots and chops

Wine, several dishes of sticky rice cooked with peas maybe

So all of these dishes are accompanied with a pot of flowers

This is like a big plate of five kinds of fruits and wine will be like worshiped on the altar

So after the incense sticks are burnt out they will enjoy the feast

Now next part I'd like to introduce to you some sentences, some messages that you can use for any funeral

Okay and I hope that you don't have to use them but just in case

And also when it comes to culture we should learn everything right

So let's see what we got today

Basically in Vietnam we don't really use like a lot of different messages or sentences

We actually have only like a few very common sentences which are

Xin chia buồn cùng gia đình

So this is like the most common one and you can use like anytime both formal and informal situations

Next one if the person is a little bit old like at your parent's generations like a little bit older than your parents

Then you will call an address her or him as bác

So a sentence can be used for the family is

Mong bác yên nghỉ

“Hoping he or she will rest in peace”

Mong bác yên nghỉ

ok?

If the person is very young like at your generation then you'll address him or her: anh or chị, right?

So instead you can say

Mong anh/ chị yên nghỉ

Means like “hoping he or she will rest in peace”

Another word for like grandparents, grandpa or grandma we use

Mong ông/bà yên nghỉ

Also there is another sentence that we can use to share or to show sympathy with the family

We can say

Xin chia buồn cùng sự mất mát của gia đình

It means like “my sympathy for your loss” or like “I'm very sorry for your family's loss”

The last one that I want to introduce to you is

Mong gia đình sớm vượt qua nỗi đau này

Means like “hoping your family will overcome this pain” or ” this loss soon”

Okay, so that's it for today. Thank you so much for watching this video

I know this is not a very fun or happy topic

But this is about our culture. This is one of our culture

So I hope that it's also brings you something new

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Xin chào và hẹn gặp lại các bạn

See you in the next one

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